Budget Breakfast: Rice-Cooker Millet Porridge

Rice-Cooker Millet Porridge — an easy, cheap and nutritious breakfast!

how’s this for a healthy eating on a budget pointer: make a 50¢ breakfast with almost zero effort.

IMG_2397here’s what I did:

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8 Reasons Chocolate Makes Us Feel All Crazy in Love

Chocolate = Love

Few will deny chocolate makes us feel good. For that moment it is in our mouths, we experience pure sensuous delight. All the pain and anxiety of the world around us melts away and everything is bliss and pleasure.

Then we swallow and the world rushes back in. But for a few vanishing moments  we feel uplifted, relaxed, maybe a little turned on….maybe a lot.

Chocolate is a sexy Valentine’s gift for a reason. Everyone loves chocolate. It’s rich, smooth, creamy, luscious, decadent and naughty.

Chocolate actually, chemically, induces feelings of love and lust in our brains when we eat it.  I’ll argue that when we feel good, we feel all gooey crazy in love.  I’ll argue this is our natural state of being, our equilibrium.

If you are in love and looking for a way to enhance your Valentine’s Day love fest, chocolate could rev up your sex drive and increase feelings of euphoria and pleasure.  This is why chocolate is associated with lovers.

If you are not in love and looking for a way to endure Valentine’s Day, chocolate could mimic the euphoric gooey feelings of being in love and make you feel blissy.  This is why chocolate is associated with frustrated singles, breakups, and sitting alone in your apartment watching Love, Actually snarking after a hard day or bad date.

forget love, i'd rather fall in chocolate

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12 Reasons You Should Be Drinking Green Smoothies (Even In Winter). Recipe Included.

green smoothie photo

What IS a Green Smoothie? 

Quick answer:  a smoothie that is green.

Better answer:  a blended drink consisting of leafy greens and other super nutritious super foods that can be had as a meal.

Most “smoothies” are mostly fruit and some kind of milk or juice with a few leaves of kale thrown in.  Better than nothing, but not the best choice for optimal health or weight loss as they often contain 3-4 to even 10 servings of fruit.  That’s a lot of sugar!

Typically the only fruit I put in my smoothies is an avocado and maybe a few berries.  I only have maybe one or two servings of fruit a day…and I like to eat my fruit.

Leafy greens on the other hand, can be hard to get down.  That’s why I pack a smoothie with a bunch of ingredients I know I should be eating everyday that I just don’t want to.

Is a Smoothie the same as Green JUICE?

No.  Juice is juice, leaving behind the pulp and fiber of the fruits and vegetables. Smoothies contain the entire vegetable, blended with ice.

Sure you can have a green juice instead, but I find them flabby, less filling and not a real meal replacement.

Also, until I have a maid who is going to clean it, I am not using a juicer everyday.

I can’t speak for every blender, but a Vitamix is self-cleaning; a snap to clean and pulverizes everything to a smooth consistency.


green smoothie

12 Reasons To Have a Green Drink Everyday

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The Scary S#*t in Halloween Candy

Yeah!!!!  Halloween!  For many it’s the most fun night to go out, dress up and be childish and silly!

For others it’s a time to stay home and hide from amateur drunk people in costumes acting like silly children.

For many Halloween marks the beginning of the most wonderful time of the year!  The beginning of the holiday season.  A time for love, family, gifts and merriment.

For others it marks the beginning of what I like to term the “stuffing trifecta:” a time to eat drink and engage in other random acts of indulgence to stuff down feelings brought about by love, family, gifts and the self-imposed illusion that other people have way more merriment than you.

I love holidays!  As a self-proclaimed junkie I take any excuse to indulge and run with it.   “It’s your brother’s wedding anniversary??  We should go clubbing!”

Right around Halloween my head starts saying things like:

“It’s Halloween, have some candy!  ohhh remember when you were a little  girl how you loved snickers bars? have a snickers bar!  it’s happiness!”

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Everybody, I Made Pumpkin Seed Milk (and Almond Milk)!

Pros & Cons of Homemade Almond Milk and/or Pumpkin Seed Milk.

How do you know you are an urban hippie? You bought a nut bag on amazon.

You bought it so you could stop using the feet of old pantyhose to make your homemade nut milk.

I don’t know how it happened.  I never wanted to become this. However I am. I’m an urban hippie. I make my own yogurt.  I make my own mayonnaise.  I read articles about how to make beauty products, household cleaners and condiments out of sundry combinations of baking soda, apple cider vinegar and coconut oil. But I thought I drew the line at nut milk.

I’m not going to be one of those people who make almond milk.  You know them. They usually do kundalini yoga, have a rat tail and bumper stickers on their car.  They shop at farmer’s markets with shopping bags made out of recycled tennis shoes, call chocolate “cacao,” and drink pour-over coffee at home.  Though I do clean my bathtub with Epsom salts and baking soda, and put maca in my smoothies, unless it comes out of my nipples, I am not making my own milk!

Or so I thought.

Then I started reading the ingredients on almond milk packages.

And tasted homemade pumpkin seed milk.

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What to Do With A Whole Coconut



so i took the plunge and bought a whole coconut.

then i took it home and stared at it.

now what the f do i do?

i just want to drink the water.  what do i do with the rest of it?

more importantly…how do i get it open?

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manager’s special

last month my mother died.  a few days later i went to work at an office i work at once a week. in the fridge, there was a cake.  a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting and peanuts in the frosting.  it was one of those cakes from the shitty bakery of a grocery store.  i could tell by looking at it that it was completely processed and full of artificial ingredients.  maybe there was an egg in it. maybe.

best of all, the sticker on the plastic shell encasing it read:  manager’s special $2.

hell yes.  not only is that cake full of high fructose corn syrup, animal shorting and modified cornstarch, but it’s old.  oh yeah, you better believe i ate that shit.  i didn’t take a piece, put it on a plate and sit down and eat it.  where would be the deprivation in that?

ok yes, i’m generally known to not eat either sugar or processed things, so i don’t want anyone to see me eating something i might secretly judge them with my eyes for eating.  yes i could just sit down with a big slice and say “my mother’s dead, i’m eating this.” but it seemed easier to eat it in secret standing over the garbage.

More cake in fridge Sign at Work

More cake in fridge Sign at Work (Photo credit: stevendepolo)

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Y’all, I Made Ghee!

Ghee is ghetting (sorry, I had to) a lot of buzz. So i decided to jump on board and give it a try after reading about its many health benefits.  I mean when Trader Joe’s starts selling it, you know it’s hipster cool.

What is Ghee?

It’s pure butterfat.  Butterfat you caramelized milk solids in, people.  It’s melted toasted butter with the protein and milk sugar lactose removed!   Now, I’m not one of those butter people (you know who you are).  Butter is not a staple in my home, in fact, I never have butter.  I don’t really eat bread, and well, what else would you need butter for?  But toasted butter, I had to try it.

Traditional ghee originates from India and is a little more technical than the way white people who don’t care so much about cows or tradition make it.  My version is something between ghee and clarified butter.

How to Make Ghee (or, more àpropos: White Girl Ghee)

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Y’all I made sauerkraut

Homemade Sauerkraut

Ya’ll I made sauerkraut and it’s so easy you’ll never buy sauerkraut again.

Also, I’d say it cost me about 50¢.

I went to Whole Foods not too long ago and couldn’t believe how expensive sauerkraut and kimchi are.  They range from $7 to $12 a jar.  shhheessh.

If you are like me, when you think sauerkraut you think that weird little plastic bag sold next to the hot dogs in the refrigerated aisle that your mom only ever served with hotdogs.

However sauerkraut is a pretty awesome little snack that can be eaten on its own or added to stirfrys or salads for an acidic kick.

To boot, sauerkraut is a powerhouse of probiotic bacteria essential for gut health, healthy digestion and a strong immune system.

All that for 50¢!

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Y’all. I MADE yogurt.

How to Make Slow-Cooker Yogurt

I feel potent.  I made yogurt.  I know I shouldn’t feel celestial, but plain yogurt is the closest thing to mother’s milk.  Being as I’m not pregnant, I feel I’ve defied nature while at the same time, allowing it to run its course.

IMG_1498Though making yogurt takes a little time, it is very easy.  It is cheaper than buying yogurt (especially greek) and it saves packaging.  So I feel good.

Also when you bring it to work for breakfast and everyone asks, “What’s that?”, you can reply “Homemade yogurt.  I MADE it!”  Then you can sit back and revel in their awe and admiration.  When they ask, “How did you do this wonderful thing?”  You can tell them, “It ain’t no thing”

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